Change is Hard (but so is everything).

19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19

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I was 27, had taken a big promotion at a young age, and thought nothing could go wrong- then everything did.  I was one of those people who didn’t need God, because life was so good in some ways.  A six figure income in your twenties is the dream, right? There were a lot of contributing factors to everything that led to my abrupt look at what mattered, but essentially, I had to be so worn out to see what mattered and to see the core of God’s creation in me, that I had to leave that whole life behind. I found myself working over 100 hours a week every week, at odds with a new boss, and enslaved to the choices I had made to get ahead versus live. It was like ‘yay, I can buy all the shoes I want. boo, am I going to walk around my house in them, because I haven’t taken the time to make friends or go anywhere other than the office.’  It was not a life, y’all!

When everything changes in an instant and you are grounded in faith, you are miserable.  I was adrift in a hurricane inside, but around me, people were, well, living like nothing was happening.  I finally understood why people said they wanted to scream sometimes! I remember the moment my boss stopped in to chat, and I looked at him and said, “I can’t do this anymore,” and I walked out.  Miss goody goody wannabe overachiever just broke and said “PEACE!”  I was devastated as I got into the car, but then, it was beautiful.  I can still hear the long sigh I let out and it was gone. There was this relief and freedom like I had never felt before.  I mean, durh, I had a mortgage and stressful stuff, but I was taking a step toward a different life.

I look back now and know God had decided it was time to bring me back to Him.  There was a better, fuller life I didn’t know waiting, and had I continued along, I would have never seen it.  Why is it that we are so afraid to just change.  Even when things suck, we just are build to dig in more.  The funniest part is, many of us have experienced His grace and the outcome of obedience in change.  The next time it comes around, though, it’s like we can’t remember that He held us through the last one and is making a better place for us.  When the time comes to change lanes to get back to His grace or to receive a blessing that may come from hardship, may you not be afraid to put on your blinker and follow Him to the new road.  He will not lead you astray, and you will be better for it!

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