WHY?!

So…. ummm… here goes.

It has recently come to my attention that we are walking around in the matrix.  Just when you try to find contact info to get me some help, hear me out.

I believe we were created with purpose in mind.  With plans to prosper and love and add joy to the world.  We are all so different, but “fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)  With that in mind, WHY are so many of us walking around making ourselves something we aren’t?

The Psalmist doesn’t stop there.  He goes on, and here is the part where we are accountable to not using that with which we’ve been gifted. “your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” God doesn’t make mistakes, so why do we think there is a mold we must fit, a certain way to act? Why do we squander our gifts?

Feeling myself walk through this process, the past few years have been wrought with waves of anxiety- sometimes envisioning the worst case scenario in what should have been the most joyous of times. Each time the enemy came to me and whispered these fears to me, I may not have let him overtake me completely, but he slowly stole who I was piece by piece.

You see, I’m realizing my true gifts now- hospitality.  Here are the things about hospitality: it sounds really fun, but they come with a lot of frustration on the side.  Hospitality is all about making others feel welcome, connecting with them, inviting them into your circle. Have you ever walked into a room and instantly were drawn in, warm, welcomed? Everything about that experience encompasses hospitality.

Exercising your gifts is not a hard thing to do.  It becomes harder because the enemy is always waiting to stop you. Using your spiritual gifts means more defeat for him.  Every time it gets tough, or someone says something to belittle the importance of what you are doing (in some cases it’s that voice in your own head), you have to know it is Satan trying to stop you from furthering the kingdom,  from helping your fellow man, from sharing truth and Love as you are called to do.

When I quit using my gifts, I actually thought I was becoming more of what I should be.  We humans have a pesky problem of conforming.  Even as believers, we think we should behave a certain way to be a good Christian or to be the right wife and mother. By trying to calm the fire within, I became confused, unsure and unable to further the kingdom in the ways God planned. Any time I think I have it figured out, I challenge myself to read this passage and ask, “are you sure?”

Proverbs 16

1To humans belong the plans of the heart,
    but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue.

All a person’s ways seem pure to them,
    but motives are weighed by the Lord.

Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
    and he will establish your plans.

We are equipped and called to do more and be more.  The tools, however, come with precision.  Just like we have to train to use tools when building a project, we have to walk with precision in our gifts.

To be hospitable, but to tell the hard truth when challenged to do it, is hard, but we are accountable to the steps we are called to take but do not.  We are accountable for actions we don’t take when we should and we have to have a controlled burn as He pours His spirit into us or we may just take the whole place down around us.  So go, light your own fire, but let it be a blaze for Love and truth.

 

 

 

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