So I managed to slice the tip of my thumb off in fantastic fashion last weekend as I prepped a cheese tray for a dinner party at my home that had already begun. In true Magyver (no idea how to spell that, but you get the gist) fashion, my husband went all field med on me and before I knew it, I was rinsed out, super glued and electrical taped back together so the party could continue. Yes, garage items are way better than actual medical supplies in this house, guys, because look at the great double duty they pull! I can’t talk because I’ve broken a toe, drilled into my hand and now lost a fingerprint all during events, and we didn’t stop the show. You ask why I feel like I have something to prove, and I say ‘that’s a layer to the onion I haven’t reached yet!’ but I digress.
So back to the thumb thing. A piece of me was damaged and broken and honestly completely gone. I honestly wasn’t sure what things were going to look like going forward on my poor fat thumb (especially since all the sudden my fingerprint is coming between me and the easy unlock on my stupid iPhone).
Today, I’m changing the bandage and what do I see, new skin appearing- fingerprint and all! Some medical journal gobblety goop I referenced to be sure I’m not dumb said “in most cases, because of the engrained imprinting in the deeper skin layers, once exposure to the abrasive, caustic or hot conditions cease, the fingerprints will grow back.” That is fascinating to me! I was amazed to see it but there it was, and to be sure I checked and science agreed!
The cooler thing about it, is in that moment, God spoke to me. He used it to show me what I have been struggling to put into words. You see, the entire world is telling us we are defined by our scars, our victimizations, our poor choices. I read a bio for a very popular author and speaker the other day. In it she wrote in depth about her struggles, her addiction, her pain, and how she was defined by all of that negative and now she wore all of that with pride, unashamed. Sounds great and good for her right?
My counterpoint is this:
There may still be a scar when it heals, but that fingerprint, that original creation that makes us HIS, that makes us created with specific skills and gifts for a specific purpose is still there.
God says we were fully formed from DAY 1. He made our souls, selected our traits, gave us our gifts, and put that beautiful person inside that tiny little body, so as we grew and were still small, the world would see all of it begin to shine through and no matter what the world threw at us, the sin, the dust that dulled our shine, we will NEVER be something different at our core than what He created.
We have to CHOOSE to believe that God is bigger than everything, that the bad things that keep happening, the monsters that keep coming or the ones we’ve chased, are proof that He is with us always and He is loving us through.
What are the consequences?
The consequences are Satan wins. He won every time anxiety closed me into a ball and I couldn’t be around people or show them hospitality, because I was too afraid to move. Are you going to let Him win over you? He would love to come in and bind every one of those amazing things God put in you to show his love and light to the world. It’s your choice whether you do it or not.
Who did people describe us as when we were five? What was that beautiful little creature known to be then- before life got hard and we knew too much. Ask yourself that question. Heck, ask your mama that question, if you feel like it’s been too long since you’ve seen that shining person He created in you.
Whatever those qualities are, consider the sin, whether you committed or someone else, that bound you up, rendered you useless or neutralized for the kingdom. What I’m finding as I work through the pressure points that trigger my panic, is that every single thing was perfectly designed to bind up a gift from God when He created me. Run the test on yourself and see what you find. For me, it has been amazing to look at each piece and see it as a planned attack on me. It allows me to separate myself from it and see it for the lie that it is. My Father is there beside me and that potential divorce, bankruptcy or even worse, is an outside force coming at us to render us useless, and knowing that is the first step to beating it. It’s the step towards recovering and protecting who He told us to be.
My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. -John 17:15
We are here. We are supposed to be in the world, but we are not ‘of’ the world. Christ wanted us protected from the evil one. He wanted us to remain who we were to be the true lights God envisioned us to be.
I believe that there is true healing. I believe it’s from good. I don’t believe we are to wear our sin and the victimizations put upon us as our badges. We are not to be named by the world. We are to take what the world throws at us as the attacks they are and love anyway, praise anyway, serve anyway. That is our call.